Tone and Meaning

All last year, the challenge of conveying an effective balance of Warmth/Demand was a high hurdle.

I think I got better, at least.

I learned my lesson when I met my cousin from California this spring during a family visit to NYC from California with his parents, my uncle and aunt-in-law.  I saw my brother swoop down and lift him up in a playful manner, "fun uncle" style.  I was fighting every breathe of my teacher's mentality coming out of me, but I let a little wisp come through.

I didn't lecture or anything, I simply taught him about things that were helpful for him, and spent time with him that would stimulate his thinking and understanding- playing a math game while waiting for dinner, looking at paintings upstairs before dessert came.

At the end of the night, I thought I had been the more-mechanical-serious-teacher-cousin, until my cousin came over to me unprovoked, and gave me a great big hug.  As I looked over him, my uncle gave me a thumbs up and a look that showed that this was not a common occurrence.

Wow, that happened.

As I met my students in the last two days (some for the second time), I saw myself realizing my lesson in my practice: Treat these students like you would your own family.  They are children seeking guidance, support, and connection, at the same time as expectations and structure.

When respect was not maintained, I did not chastise, but rather told them why it was disrespectful, and maintained their dignity.  After issues happened in class, I saw them in the hallways and had calm, supportive, and clarifying conversations.

I don't know how this will continue into the future, as these were just the first two days, but I feel much more at home with myself than I did last year.

Here's to the family.