The Wind or the Sun?

THE WIND and the Sun were disputing which was the stronger. Suddenly they saw a traveller coming down the road, and the Sun said: “I see a way to decide our dispute. Whichever of us can cause that traveller to take off his cloak shall be regarded as the stronger You begin.” So the Sun retired behind a cloud, and the Wind began to blow as hard as it could upon the traveller. But the harder he blew the more closely did the traveller wrap his cloak round him, till at last the Wind had to give up in despair. Then the Sun came out and shone in all his glory upon the traveller, who soon found it too hot to walk with his cloak on.

Kindness, gentleness, and persuasion win over force in this fable.  (Mad Men, Episode 47). Does this work in teaching? I am in a classroom of sixth graders every day, and I am unsure which route to take with them.  In the world outside of my classroom, my friends say I am a positive, upbeat person with a boyish energy and smile. In the class, I am a stern (but fair) perfectionist who expects the best of every student and will accept nothing less. Which will win out?  I am fearful whenever I am not leading the class that students will act out in response.  I want them to be engaged for themselves, but how do I cross over the hot coals of giving them more responsibility and self-agency without losing order in the class? This is the transition I must make over the next month, because otherwise, I will have to be the ever-present guard, rather than the ever-supportive coach.